Sleep and Let Sleep

It was second week in a row. Abhi was going through a new developmental milestone – walking. Though this was super exciting for Meera, she was not able to enjoy it completely since new milestone leads to behavioral regression, which in Abhi’s case was always sleep regression.

Abhi has not slept through the night for two weeks now and Meera is almost on the verge of her meltdown. Whenever this has happened before, Meera would sleep through the day while the babysitter took care of Abhi. Now that she has resumed work, she is losing her sleep and her mind.

Last night, Abhi went to sleep around midnight and woke up several times during the night. Meera tried feeding, rocking, and singing to her 15-month-old but gave up when he refused to shut his eye when the clock struck six in the morning. Meera was exhausted. Her aching back and sore breasts only worsened her condition. She tried to entertain Abhi on the bed so that she could at least rest her back. But he refused to settle there and wanted to be carried out. Grudgingly, Meera took her kid and moved to the living area.

Though it was just six in the morning, her living room was lit up as a sunny day on the beach – thanks to the French windows which she adorned when they were installed but dreads every morning for the amount of brightness it lets inside the house even during the early hours. As her eyes were forcefully shutting themselves close, she tried to keep Abhi on the sofa and sit next to him. But nope, as if he is on a mission to turn her day into a nightmare, he howled and bawled his heart out the second she bent down. Meera knows this routine and hence she quickly took the kid in her hands and tried to calm him down. She did not want to wake her husband who was sleeping, rather soundly (loudly), in the next room.

Yes! They have been sleeping in separate rooms since Abhi was four months old. No, they were not fighting or were having any misunderstandings. It is just that along with Abhi, the three of them were not able to sleep comfortably in their custom sized queen size bed! Initially they thought it would be only for few days until Abhi moves into his own cot. However, here they are, 15 months and counting!

As Abhi was nowhere near calming down, Meera wrapped him in her arms and moved the show to the balcony. Before stepping out, she glanced at the clock. It was not even seven, but she was already done for the day.

Balcony has been Abhi’s favorite play area for a while. Since the day he started to walk, he has been excited to hold the railings in the balcony and walk. He also loved to sit on the balcony floor and stare at the vehicles passing on the main road. As he was not willing to let go of his mom, she held him and tried showing the vehicles. Unfortunately, that didn’t work either. For a kid who does this activity for 50% of his time in a day with his babysitter, did not like doing it with his mom for some reason. Meera tried singing, playing songs, and feeding for the 100^th time to calm this crying baby, but nothing helped.

Finally, she moved back to the living room and placed him on the floor. Of course, nothing changed! He gave out a loud shriek that thankfully did not break the window glass panes. However, that did break Meera. She moved away from him, snuggled to one of the corners in the room and she broke down. She tried to muffle down her tears since Abhi cries more when he sees her cry. That did not work. Abhi growled, got up from the floor, and started walking towards her. Though she wanted to take her child and comfort him, in that point of time, he looked more like Chucky rather than Abhi. As she slowly sunk down on the floor, her husband came out confused about all the commotion.

He understood what was happening. He immediately took the wailing kid in his arms and pulled Meera up.

He hugged her and said, ‘How many times have I asked you to wake me up when you need help? Do not try to do all this by yourself. I am here as well.’

Meera didn’t utter a word. She was too tired to say out anything.

‘Why don’t you go and lie down. I’ll take care of him.’ He sent Meera back to her room and closed the door behind her so that she can catch up on some sleep without any disturbance.

She climbed back on the bed and tried to sleep. Surprisingly, she couldn’t. ‘Why am I not waking him up when I need help?’ she asked herself. Whenever there has been a sleep regression phase, Meera has always tried to sort it out by herself without involving her husband. But, why?

‘You know why!’ said her inner voice. ‘You already forced the man into having a kid, which he never wanted. How much more can you ask for?’ asked her voice.

'O_o'