He is a cute little boy who is a little older than one year. I love him to bits, for about 30 to 45 mins everyday. Even more when he sleeps. So on an average I love him around 35-40% percent on a daily basis.
I came to know of his existence in September 2019. By the time I realized I was pregnant, he was 8 weeks old. So in the first scan itself, we (me and the husband) could hear his heartbeat. I am not going to say that it was the best thing I have ever heard using my ears. However, it did kindle a weird emotion in me, which I had never felt before. More importantly, when we heard he was 8 weeks, I slowly rewinded the 8 weeks and tried to remember what all we did. We did two trips during that time and did all possible stuff which a pregnant woman shouldn't have done. I was relieved and happy that he survived all that and made me realize I am growing a strong fetus inside me.
For the following months I was extremely careful. I wouldn't even walk fast. I sat very slowly, slept only on the left side, ate healthily, but did zero exercise. I did go to a physiotherapist who showed me few moves which helps to have a vaginal delivery, but I was too lazy and didn't bother. I was someone who had already resolved that I was going to have a C-section and vaginal was out of question.
There are couple of things which led me into this thinking. I am super fat and as per everyone, fat people can't deliver normally. My sister, who is an active person and way thinner than me, had a C-section. A friend of mine, who exercised and took lot of measures to avoid a C-section, ended up getting one. All these just made my decision final.
But then, around my 6th month, my in-laws came to help me during pregnancy. They ensured that I was active a bit and asked me to go for a walk in the morning and in the evening. I have cried at times, of course not in front of them, for going for a walk. Because I was sure that this is not going to change anything. But I never complained to them. They are such sweet and patient souls. My father-in-law accompanied me for my morning walks and my mother-in-law came along for the evening strolls. So this I did for four months and taadaaa...I had a 12 hour labor and a vaginal delivery!! Surprise, surprise!!
As all Indians, I came to know that it was a boy only when he came out. Like movies, I thought I'll be ecstatic when I see my baby. But NO! I was dead tired and holding him was the last thing I wanted to do. I just wanted to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I was not going to sleep for the next couple of years!
It has been a roller coaster ride since his birth. I complain a lot to everyone I see and warn them about the perils of having a kid. But at times, when he chooses me over his dad, when he runs to me when he is scared, sleepy, or hungry, when he cuddles me when he sleeps, when he smiles at me as soon as he wakes up, and for million other things he does, I love him to bits. It has changed my life in so many unprecedented ways, but it all feels worth it.
'O_o'
P.S: Did I mention that his father never wanted kids, and my in-laws wanted a grand-daughter and not a grand-son? May be in the next post!
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