Matrimony Meet! - Part 1

I have always wanted to fall in love. I knew it’s hard to find, but not impossible. If love wasn’t ready to cross my path, I was planning on chasing it using a wanted poster!

But I never thought I’ll be literally walking on a ramp, flaunting (not exactly the right term, but still!) my sari and the long hair which I was blessed  from my mom’s hereditary, and listing out the qualities that I expect a guy to have in order to get my hand in marriage!

This bizarre moment was called “All India Nair Matrimony Meet” arranged by the Nair Matrimony.com in a five star hotel in Chennai.

My dad came to know about it through one of my uncle, and he made sure that we were present there from morning till evening. He was resolved to finalize a guy for me that day, post which he thought I’ll never get married! Well, he gets this thought every time a guy agrees to come and meet me. He calls every guy as the last bus and if I miss it, I am done. Unfortunately, till today I was ready to board every bus that came to my stop, (don’t get a double meaning here!), but I guess none of the busses wanted me as their passenger. I wouldn’t fault the busses either! Why would a passenger bus want to carry a truck load of goods! (Hope you got the comparison!)

The other reason why my dad was so enthusiastic about this meet was my decision to move to Bangalore for a better job opportunity. He wasn’t completely against the idea of me moving there, but he was not happy that I am SINGLE and moving there. I can’t chide him for that. All parents have their own fear and this was his!

So coming back to the point! I picked a good sari, applied all Lakme and Olay products, and zooooom I went to the avenue. I was shocked at the crowd I saw there, but little did I know that more shock was waiting inside.

Paying Rs. 500 as an entry fee, we were allotted a token number 143. When we showed it to one of the organizers inside the hall, he directed us to a round table which had number 143 in a placard. Once seated, I started to examine the room. The hall was divided into two sections – male and female. Each section had around 400-500 round tables, out of which some 200 tables were already filled. When I was done with the counting, I realized my parents doing the same thing. Except that they were anxious and determined to find a groom for their daughter. In about an hour’s time the hall was completely filled and the doors were closed. Then began the meet!

There was huge stage at one end of the hall. One guy, who I think is the main organizer, got on the stage with a mike. He gave a brief introduction of what the meet is about and how they’ll assist us in finding the better half! (Yeah right!). So basically, each girl / boy had to go up in the stage and tell their name, age, rasi, education qualification, working details, expectation and so on. That’s when it hit me! I’ll need to stand in front of these hundreds of people and give a description about myself! If that is the case, why couldn’t these people simply use Facebook? That would have been a better choice. So once this introduction is done, interested parents can talk to each other and exchange horoscopes. There was some 50 horoscope math makers lined up at the end of the hall, who’d immediately match the horoscopes and tell us if it’s a match or not, if the girl’s and boy’s side were ok with each other’s profile. Another Rs. 150 per match was charged separately for that. I just couldn’t swallow the part that I ended up here in my attempt to find love!

After the introduction about the event, it was time to go ahead and participate. But no! There was one more twist. They wanted the girls to go first and in descending order. First I couldn’t understand. Later came the explanation. They wanted the older girls to go first. Since their marriage was already delayed, the organizers thought, by asking them go first on the stage will fasten their prospect of marriage! I was shocked. I couldn’t bear this. I thought there will be few people who would be as irritated as I was. But to my surprise, many agreed to the fact.

So the organizer started to call people by age. The first girl to go up was 29. 29! That was the oldest girl in the entire hall!! And when 35 girls were done, my name was called! That was the last blow! Out of the 300 odd girls present, me, who was close to 26 was called on the stage. So that meant everyone else in the crowd was younger to me? Why does women want to get married so young? The next fear that caught me was, if so many younger women were available in the marriage market, why will any guy, who is even 30, will want to marry an older girl like me? SHIT! Did I wait too loooooong in my attempt to find true love? Oh god!

So I went up on the stage and looked at the crowd. I felt a thousand eyes piercing me! I can’t do this! That was the first thought! But then I looked at my dad. He was all smiles. He was happy with the way I looked on the stage and was hopeful that whatever I say here is definitely going to get me a groom. Before I walked up to the stage he gave me points as to what all I need to say! He even went to the extent of scribbling it in my palm. So for his satisfaction, I listed all the points I had in my hand in one go and literally ran away from the stage.

There ended my part in the meet. Fortunately, some parents were interested in me! They came and spoke to my parents. But the way they looked at me made me sick. I felt like a product on display and my parents being my sales rep! I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself from the table, much to the annoyance of my dad, and stepped out for some fresh air!

After few minutes of stroll across the lane, I got a message from my dad, asking me to come inside as he has found the ONE!

To be continued…

P.S. Till I get married for real, I am pretty sure these kind of stories will continue! And as usual, this is purely based on imagination! 

'O_o'