One Never Stops

She logged into her Facebook profile.

There were quite a few notifications and one friend request.

She checked out the notifications first, commented on some of them, and then clicked on the friend request icon.

It was from him.

It was more than a month since she heard from him. He was the one who told her not to talk to him and to get the hell out of his life. Till date she never understood what she did so wrong for him to hate her so much? The final conversation she had with him, kept her sleepless for several nights. She kept wondering how someone whom you loved can hurt you so much that you feel as if the dagger was straight to your heart?

It took her days to convince herself that he is no more a part of her life. Though it was the other way round. She had no more role in his life to be played.

But here he is again.

What is she supposed to do? When he said she is done with her, though it was cruel and harsh that time, she thought it was like one of those fights which they usually had. But no it wasn't. He changed his profile status to single in FB. Removed himself from her contacts in gmail. Changed his gmail passwords. He even blocked her number in his mobile. Only then she realized that he meant what he said.

But here he is again.

She was blind in his love. Believed that he was the one in his life. But all her faith were shattered. Once her friends knew that he was no longer in contact with her, everyone said it was for her own good. They were happy that she was no longer in a relationship. Everyone had doubts about his sincerity to her. Some of them even knew that he was lying to her about his commitment. Beyond all this, one thing hurt her the most was the question that everyone asked her.... Didn't you see this coming? Didn't you ever doubt him? Couldn't you see the obvious? Well, she couldn't. When she fell, she fell hard. And she was blind. Isn't it the way love is supposed to be? Blind and divine! But when she started realizing that people around her might be making sense she consoled herself and pledged to move forward in life.

But here he is again.

She was never been in love before. Of course she has had a few 'fake love' stories spread around her friends just to feel not being left out in the crowd. They were based on her fantasies and her talent in spinning stories. He made all her fantasies come true. He wooed her. He swiped her off her feet. She saw her dreams come real through him. It was as if he read her mind and did everything for her. But when her friends came back to her, they were like, you should have learned from your mistakes. They meant her 'fantasized' stories. But there was no real ones in her life, except for this one. And it was too good and too real, that she never doubted it. She wanted it all. Even if it was just a dream, she wouldn't have mind to sleep for eternity. But it ended, even before she could realize and relish it.

And she thought it was over. But here he is again.

The pain was and is unbearable. She kept saying she was lucky to him. She indeed was. She supported him in whatever way possible and obeyed his every single word. He was the world for him. But she was never able to express it. She thought he will understand it naturally even without expressing it, because love is supposed to be felt and not to be expressed in words. But that was not enough for him, is what he said on their final conversation. He said he never felt her love. He said she was incapable of loving people and worthless to be loved too. He pointed that none of her loved ones never stayed with her, something that she had confided only to him. And he said it was because of her and character.

And yet here he was again.

She was not sure what she was supposed to do. Accept his request or reject it? Though it might be just a friend request, it could mean a lot. Seeing him in her friend list might mean that they both got together for her friends. It will also mean that she had forgiven him or whatever he said didn't matter. But that was not true. Though it was just a month of separation, she has come in terms with her life after great difficulty. Its not like she has thrown him completely out of her life. She still dreams about him and still clings to 'what if it could have worked out?'. Out of sight did not mean out of mind for her. He was still close to her heart. She still wishes things stayed the way she thought it was, though it might not have been true. But things have changed. He pushed her out of his life. Him coming back to her could mean anything. But she accepting him back in her life could mean only one thing. Losing her identity and losing herself. Something that she is not ready to lose right now.

She opened the friend request again and clicked on Reject.

However, this didn't mean that she stopped loving him. It's just that he is no longer with her. As Ayan Rand says in 'We The Living' - "When a person dies, one does not stop loving him, does one?"

No.. One never stops loving.

p.s. I hate Mr.Undy for making me reminiscence like this!

'O_o'